The Beat Of The Heart

"It’s interesting that the purer one’s heart becomes, the more the tiniest act is that which resonates in an appropriate fashion to bring a deeper harmony, a deeper way back into the Tao—as if one ever left it." –Ram Dass

"As if one never left it"....I think that is my aim, to get a place of "pure being" as if I never left. I always loved the saying "where does everybody go when they go?" Is it possible that we are already in the Tao, perhaps forgetting where we are and creating an illusion that we have left?

How does one's heart become pure? There has got to be a trillion ways to do so, but what resonates for me is found in the midst of passion. When someone is embracing their passion and activating the art of it, they are creating a pure connection to their heart! Passion is found in anything that brings you immense joy and a compelling feeling of happiness!

One passion of mine in Kirtan, chanting the sacred names of the Divine. As I have mentioned in the earlier post, Kirtan ignites my heart with love and absolute bliss. A beautiful group of friends of mine recently started creating Kirtan music together and they encouraged me to give the drum a try. After letting go of my lifelong personal belief that "I am musically challenged" I grabbed the drum and began to play! To my surprise I discovered a new passion of mine, playing music!

The tiny act of being willing to pick up the drum and play Kirtan music has resonated within and led me to create some harmonic sounds! When I let go and play to these harmonic songs, I find the beat of my heart. It is there where I begin to fall deeper into the Tao, as if I never left. In this space, the "I" dissipates and everything unites into the harmonic beating of one heart.

This photo was taken over the weekend while playing some beautiful Kirtan with my amazing friends!

The Space Within

Space:
–noun

1. the unlimited expanse in which everything is located

2. an interval or blank area in text: a space between the letters.

This morning I followed my usual Wednesday morning work routine, checking my email and then transferring the job postings into a mass email in Constant Contacts. The process is usually pretty easy, but this morning something was up! I began to find myself getting a little frustrated as I proceeded to close some gaps in the text and enjoy my oatmeal. Each time I would close the gaps and save my work, I was left with an extra space! It was too early to judge myself for this technical error, so I called on customer support. I was informed that it was a "Global problem with space" and that they were working to get this fixed as soon as possible.

A few moments later, I found myself reflecting on the words "Global Problem of Space" and I had to laugh! Sure it created a delay in sending out a pretty important email, but it gave me something to contemplate. I recalled watching the video of a spiritual teacher Ron Roth last night and his words of "Create the space within" were lingering inside of me! Ron spoke of this space being within and he shared confidently that it exists in everyone! He went on further sharing that the path that leads to this space is on us to create. As an individual soul filled with Divine spirit, we must create our path to open this space within.

I thought carefully, well it is 2011 the year of many shifts.....how appropriate that there is a "Global Problem of Space". This is the year for expansion and elevating our consciousness, thus expanding the space within. So, what we feel may have been a large enough space to house our Divine connection in 2010, is NOT enough for 2011. Space is expanding to assist us in the connection and transcend us into the Divine. Because the space is expanding itself, all we have to do is jump into the vibration. Smile, laugh, sing, create art, dive into your passion, meditate, dance in the rain, create music, visit with the people you love, study spiritual books, serve others......those are just a few ways that you can build your path and meet the space within!

We are all a piece of the Divine connected through space!

I bow to the space within you - Namaste!

The Art of Listening

"The first duty of love is to listen"

I encourage you to sit quiet for a moment and tune into your surroundings, this is a simple and easy listening exercise.

What do you hear? Perhaps the sound of a car passing by, a bird chirping outside your window, your tummy rumbling, a voice in the distance, your pug snoring....

Let's take this a step further....

I encourage you to have a conversation with a friend and let them do most of the talking. Instead of thinking of a good reply or what you will say next, try to focus on the words they are sharing with you.

What do you hear? Perhaps excitement in their voice, sadness in their heart, a funny story, a new idea they have, or maybe just random stories in no particular order but they are special because they are being shared with you.....

Are you still with me? Let's stretch this out just a little bit further.......

I encourage you to close your eyes and listen to your inner voice. This is the voice of your own truth and wisdom, the intuitive channel within that guides you.

What do you hear? Perhaps inspiring words to help you write a blog, clarity towards a decision you have been uncertain about, stillness amidst the chaos, a new melody to a song you will create, a new idea, colors for a beautiful painting, guidance on a problem or question you may have, confidence to finish a task that seems impossible, words of wisdom from those who have walked this journey before you......


All three of these listening exercises are important, here is their focus:

1. The first exercise allows you to be aware of the present moment.
2. The second exercise is being of service.
3. The third exercise is where you discover you.

Listening is essential on the path to self awareness! It is in listening that all of the great mysteries are heard.





Thanks to Shiloh Sophia McCloud for her beautiful painting in this post, to see her paintings click here!

Pain Is The Greatest Teacher

Sometimes the moment can be uncomfortable....

Those moments when your heart is aching, or something pressing is on your mind and your body begins to react with all of those unpleasant physical symptoms. Or maybe anxiety has grabbed you and it feels like you are stuck and falling down the hole of endless ache.

The good news? No moment is ever the same, every time you blink you create a new experience. With the unease and ache, comes a tremendous opportunity for growth and self-discovery. Within every life experience lies a lesson, which can only be discovered by living it. Isn't that what you came here for?

I am not sure why abuse is experienced in relationships, why some lose their partners at an early age, why some experience heartbreaks multiple times, why some kids make fun of others, and why sometimes life just seems confusing and unfair....

What I do know is that I have experienced the uncomfortable feelings of the above and it is why I am able to write this message to you. Going through those experiences have formed me into all that I am today. I am grateful for the uncomfortable not-so-fun moments, because without them.....I am not sure if I would have ever met myself.

In The Stillness

"Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself."

- Hermann Hesse

Over the last few weeks I have been getting lost in the busyness of life...

Today was different, I felt something within inviting me to slow down.....good ole' stillness paying me a visit. I don't travel to this space as often as I would like, but when I am here....well that's just it...I am HERE.

I think these are my favorite moments on this journey, where I can sit in the stillness and breathe in what is....not really trying to "do" or "change" anything.....just letting it all be. Soaking in the beauty that commits to surround me in every moment, even if I am going too fast to notice.

In these moments I am free to be me, to be the expression of love and wholeness from which I came from. Expanding my heart and fully expressing my passion, I become eager to visit this place more often.

The Moment

Sometimes I pretend to be a poet and I create little poems like this one:

The Moment

I look around the world and I smile,
gratitude fills me and I chose to stay for awhile.

I trust what is and accept what isn't,
understanding it all....my heart smiles.

Feeling like I could burst with joy,
and knowing that this is what it's all about.

Noticing you, noticing me....noticing one,
my senses heightened and my awareness in tune.

The taste of something familiar and super sweet,
it lingers in my heart and I feel quite complete.

Stillness overcomes me and time fades away,
its the ultimate feeling I experience today.

You Inspire Me

Tonight's post is a simple post of gratitude, Thank you Universe and all the beautiful human's that make this experience amazing!

I decided to share with you the 5 people who have inspired me in the past week.....here it goes! If you ever get a chance to meet these people, you will be blessed! They are all definitely ahead of their time!

Becky- Tab was totally right when she said "How did they manage to fit so much awesomeness inside someone so tiny". That describes the adventurous, free-spitted, spark of light inside of you very accurately! Your impact is right up there with those beautiful firework shows people watch on the 4th of July. In fact, remember when we driving and caught a glimpse of a fireworks show on the side of the road....I highly doubt that was just a coincidence! Becky, you inspire me and the world- don't stop seeking....you have reminded me that everything already exist within! There is a whole world waiting to be discovered- step lightly!

Sir Brock Stone- The world shines brighter with you in it! You are a genuine representation of the future leaders of America. You came into this world with a special kind of vision, the ability to see through separation. This is a powerful gift and you will open many hearts and minds with it! You amaze me everyday with your courage and dedication to create a different kind of society, the kind of society that loves and accepts EVERYONE just the way they are! You inspire me to let go of fear and dive courageously into the sea of life! Just like water, you are refreshing and their is plenty of your love to go around! Wherever you go in life, continue to love freely and the Universe will give you everything you dream of!


Isabela- I admire your courage to follow your dreams! You are young, though age is just a number, you will do many powerful things in your lifetime. I am inspired by your deep faith and trust in the Universe, it brings me a lot of peace. Listening to you speak fills me with joy and reminds me of my dreams and desires! You are a true visionary and I know you will use this gift along with many others, to spread love and goodness to the world. Keep listening to your inner voice, let it be your guide!

Angelica- Your eagerness to seek the truth in all things is very ambitious! I am inspired by your enthusiasm to learn and create a successful life for yourself. I see the world traveler in you and I think we will definitely have to travel together some time! Your honest and authentic approach to life shines very bright and reminds me to stay honest with myself and the world around me! You are going to be a super successful woman and everyone is blessed to know you.

Roxanne- I felt very grateful to sit across from you at Kirtan the other night, you were illuminating love! I am so glad our paths have crossed again, seeing how much you have expanded and grown in the past few years really reflects how dedicated you are to YOU! I am inspired by your commitment and dedication to yoga. You have always carried a high energy with you and your smile glows like the sun.

Aren't I lucky to meet such GREAT people?

Feeling the love,

Erin

Magical Mantras

Because the One I love lives inside of you, I lean as close to you as I can....

Good Evening Beautiful Friends!

Tonight I am dancing on the clouds and what a fabulous space it is to be in! I always seem to be high on love and oneness after I leave a Kirtan. It is a magical thing, you may go in with a heavy heart and with the power of the matras and surrendering to their message of love, you walk out with a lighter step.

Shantala was leading the Kirtan tonight and my what an incredible experience! Their voices reminded me of angel's singing & I was so grateful to be in their presence!

When I sing Kirtan my heart expands in the ultimate Oneness and I find myself falling in love with the moment! I love looking around and seeing the blissed out smiles of some very amazing humans! I am not sure where everyone goes in that time, but I do know the vibrational level raises and everything is LOVE!

Infecting you with my ever-expanding passionate love....hope it sticks on you and keeps spreading!!!

Tag you're it,

Erin

You Are Hugalicious!

If you were the kiss, I'd be the hug..............

Tonight's post is for no other particular reason then to send you an extra-ginormous-ridiculously-squeezilious-embrace of love ;)

My hope is that you will read this, smile, find a friend or a stranger and embrace them with all the love you got!!!

Don't get lazy.....see how many extra-ginormous-ridiculously-squeezilious hugs you can give out over the next week!

Need some inspiration, check out my guru Amma, yes it's true....she hugs for a living!!

Reaching through this computer giving you a super-wonderful-extra-ginormous-ridiculously-squeezilious embrace of all the love I got (and p.s. I got A LOT of love)

Hug, Hug, Hug!!!

Erin

"Post-It"ing my Love.....

Today I woke up with a strong desire to do something different.

After reading Amy K.R.'s blog, I decided it was time to hit the town and spread some love and kindness ;)

I grabbed a stack of post-its, a red marker, my pug Riley, and we spread some pretty cool notes across the town!

Want to give it a try? Awesome!....it's really easy.....write a simple positive message and stick it somewhere to brighten someone's day! An easy and free way to spread love!

“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.”
-Mother Teresa

A Piece Of The Puzzle

Hi Lovelies!

Today I was privileged to learn some very beautiful things about what exist in the hearts of others! It was cultural presentation day in one of my classes, where everyone shared a little piece of what life looked like for them and I was thrilled to be apart of the experience. No matter how different everyone approached the front of the room, each had a unique and delicate piece of the puzzle to be joined together.

No piece was the same, some were the corner pieces,the edge pieces, and some belonged in the middle. The magic was that no matter what size, color, shape, and form the piece was in- each one fit!!

Want to know a secret? The piece we all carry is rooted in the heart and the puzzle is love.

I hope to help put this puzzle together, the more pieces we have the more love we will infect and connect as a whole!

You hold a magnificent piece to the puzzle, so what are you waiting for?

Love, Love, and more love,

Erin

P.S- When you connect to the puzzle....love is everywhere!

Changing Form....

"What would my life be like if I had as much faith in what's falling apart as what's growing?"

- Lynn Kapitan

Today I am grateful.....

I am grateful for the uncomfortable anxious moments that have so cleverly squeezed their way into my last few days. I am grateful for the penetrating ache that has reached me from head to toe- reminding me that yes pain is real sometimes. I am grateful for the tidal wave of tears that have flowed so effortlessly out of my eyes. I am grateful for the experience of human emotions that remind me so lightly that I am among the living.

Tonight I knew it was imperative that I open my heart and do some writing! I was looking at my sister-n-law's vibrant blog when I discovered the quote at the top of this post......it was perfect!

Over the past few days I have felt very overwhelmed, almost like I was made of ash and if you touched me with even the tip of your finger, I would fall apart!

I sat in front of my alter and got quiet and the message I heard was “Your growing”. When something grows, it expands and it takes on new form. Like a snake shedding old skin, I am growing and expanding into my true Self.

Nothing really ever falls apart; it just changes form…..

My love for you keeps growing every second!

In Love & Service,

Erin

Discovering Self

I grew up very needy for everything outside of me, continuously trying to stick a square peg inside a round whole. Always going around looking for "that" or "this" to guide me towards a sense of Self. It was as if someone was walking around with my missing puzzle piece and I was incomplete until it was recovered.

I close my eyes in this moment and let the sense of Self that is gently tapping at my heart flow to every cell in my body...sending mysteriously familiar goosebumps to my surface. In this moment I recognize that everything that I seek outside of myself can only be discovered within. It is when I am still and guided within that I feel ultimate belonging and infinite bliss.

These moments come to me in Puja, meditation, writing, Kirtan, and spiritual practices. When I do these activities that I am passionate about, I am aligning myself with the love and true infinite self that resides within my heart. What a beautiful feeling and how I would love for it to last, yet the ache of the pureness of this joy and love become overwhelming. As, a teacher once spoke to me "You are spirit and spirit can sustain anything". I guess that one hasn't sunk in yet!

Do you have these moments of pure bliss and love? Ya know where your heart aches oneness, your body tingles with stillness, awareness quiets your mind, and love is all you know. These are the moments that make you want to sing at the top of your lungs, dance like no one is watching, skip with a child like innocence, and smile as if the world depends on it.

NOW is the only time...live your passion...follow your bliss....and fall in love with everything!

With all my Love,

Erin

The Mirror

However good or bad you feel about your relationship, the person you are with at this moment is the "right" person, because he or she is the mirror of who you are inside. Deepak Chopra


Recently I met an incredibly powerful woman at a dance club and was pushed by a force of curiosity to speak with her. Much to my surprise, a connection was made, and a rapid seed of love was planted. The unconditional love and joy that was experienced with her was sweet and everlasting. Her smile so very genuine and her eyes illuminating the God within,had me pinching myself to see if I was dreaming.She stands for love, happiness, power, and service....everything I am passionate about too.

There is that witty saying "if you want to get to know yourself, get into a relationship". Like a mirror that only identifies truth, I was shown a very intimate display of my healthy and unhealthy behaviors I activated with my partner. Cupid hit me with an arrow and knocked me off my feet.....and my ego!

The relationship was overwhelming and exciting at first, all new fun feelings and emotions brewing inside. The next to enter on stage was fear.....usually having a guest appearance in all of my past relationships along with the catch phrase "this one will leave too". I contemplated so much on the fears and concerns of being left that I attracted that right into my reality once again! Along with my fears of "do I really deserve this amazing lover" I began to get so consumed with the past and future that I cheated myself out of the now.

A few things I discovered about me and am committed to working on:

1)Improving my listening skills.
2)Dropping all excuses and taking responsibility for everything in my current reality
3) Learning to stay in and enjoy the now.

The relationship with this beautiful lady has ended, but I will forever be grateful for the experience and awareness it has brought. As for the relationship with self, it is forever expanding!!


With an open heart,

Erin

God Is Love

I allow my heart to expand with love.

Close your eyes and allow the divine goodness in this moment to flow directly into your heart. As you allow the awareness of the moment in, your heart will automatically expand to the necessary capacity in which to house this new love. In every moment there is always a new awareness and particle of love that is yearning to reunite within you. This is obtained by letting go of everything and entering a state of "being". When we are in a state of "being" we are in fact in the center of love.

Love has many forms, yet it is formless. It is everything and nothing all in the same. It is the effortless ache that has driven you to be in this moment. Love is the vibrational frequency that connects us all as one. It is the space held between your heart and mine. It is pure acceptance of all that is and will ever be. It is the vibrant and powerful expression that penetrates within you and radiates effortlessly to the world. Love is the freedom and courage that allows you to stand up and create what you are passionate about.

In love fear does not exist.There is zero separation and everything illuminates as one. So when asked what is God to me?

My response is quite simple....LOVE.

Infecting you all with love,
Erin

Loss Into Love

This post is dedicated to all of my friends who have lost a loved one....

What a day!! I woke up this morning with happiness in my heart and the willingness to allow the day to unfold as is. I don't think I had any idea how much of a shift was on the verge of occurring. Isn't it beautiful how a shift begins to activate and take place in ourselves long before we are aware of it....it's like watching a movie with no sound....it's happening but we are not fully aware of what is going on until we set the volume and fully tune in.

Today I went for hospice orientation, something I have anticipated doing for the last 6 months. I discovered that I had some more processing to do and that when it was time I would be nudged in that direction. I received the nudge and arrived at the orientation today with an open heart and mind.

I must confess, during the first 15 minutes, I was filled with tremendous anxiety and fear. My mind was racing and my ego began to share it's opinion of my service interest. At that point instead of completely surrendering to the anxious feeling and allowing the fear to overcome me, I made a choice. I made a choice to acknowledge those feelings & let them pass. I reflected on the teachings of my spiritual teachers, especially all of the beautiful insights Ram Dass has shared on death & dying. The reflection allowed me to be free of all fear and anxiety at that moment.

Something else happened at that moment, for the first time ever I was able to step out the story that "I lost a close friend to cancer" and step into the willingness of gratitude and service. I have a tremendous amount of gratitude for the opportunity I was given to know and experience life with Coop....so much gratitude it brings me goosebumps! Yet my journey can not end because of the loss, I now get to share and infect the world with unconditional love, kindness, and enthusiasm that Coop shared so freely with me.

Tonight when taking off the rubber lung cancer bracelet I received from Coop and have worn everyday, it broke. I felt a little bit of sadness, but the symbolism was beautiful and assured me that letting go does not erase the love and memories that will carry on forever.

To anyone who has recently lost someone, please feel the support and love I am sending as I assure you that you are not alone! There is absolutely no right or wrong way to grieve and please be assured that a candle of hope is lit for you everyday!

I could never thank you all enough for your support....I am so lucky to be on this journey with you!

In Love & Service,

Erin

Touched By Grace

"Gracefulness has been defined to be the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul" -William Hazlitt


Hi Fellow Light Workers...

I have been listening to the KD cd as I mentioned in my last post and the song "By Your Grace" has glued itself to my heart. I have really connected to this song, because the journey is not always easily...especially when you are so passionate about something that others resist.

An update on my spiritual journey....It takes a lot of courage...and some days I just want to say "forget it all"....and then I am touched by grace. I chose to follow my passion and share love and positive energy with everyone!

The other day I lost my keys at the Zoo (only to discover later...they were in the diaper bag the whole time), but the day ended with a beautiful realization. I have always wondered why the silliest and sometimes not so fun things happen to me.....and then something happens and the situation gets much better. For instance...I lose my keys...and then they are found. I discovered that the "bad" things happen to test my reaction and provide me with a lesson....then I am touched by grace. Suffering is totally optional....and I don't go for that anymore!


Love & Light,

Erin

Serenade Your Soul...

Tonight I serenade my soul to the beautiful new Krishna Das CD Heart As Wide As The World I just received.

This CD delivered a little lesson in patience to me before its arrival. I pre-ordered the CD and anxiously waited for the release date and for it to me mailed to me. Each day I would arrive home and search the house to see if it had been delivered. One evening my step dad asked what I was waiting for, so I explained and he said "patience" and I said " I have none".....

One month later....my CD has arrived....and yes the wait and lesson in patience makes listening to it that much sweeter!

Loving my breathwork/meditation room by the way....tonight I layed in the middle of the room while serenading my soul...amazing how hearing KD sing instantly brings me back to Hawaii and the Ram Dass retreat. I can't help but cry tears of ecstasy remembering the week of bliss we spent among beautiful souls!

What's serenading your Soul??

Love & Peace...

Erin

Follow Your Dreams, Dance In Your Passion...

This is dedicated to the ONE I love...

I am very eager to share that I am writing this blog from my beautiful new home in St.Louis! I am totally in love with the vibes and character this space is filled with. I almost settled for something that was pretty and new, but I managed to find a little bit of recycled patience and Babaji led me to this incredible space!!

So what's my favorite part of the new house? The meditation/breathwork room of course!

Here are some photos of the space...I will be adding a much bigger alter shortly!




I get very excited about the new changes to my life, as I feel each experience on this journey is connecting me with my passion and the Divine in everything. Change is always occurring and I do my absolute best to go with the flow and remain in happiness and gratitude. My friend is always saying that the alternative doesn't appeal, so he chooses to stay happy and in the now. I think that is a great outlook!


Speaking of change, right now is a time of many many big shifts throughout the world. One thing I am tuning into is the drastic career changes some are making. I have witnessed people who have lost their jobs and moved into a direction that fulfills their passion. I feel everyone should do what they are passionate about...and don't worry jobs will get done....some people are passionate about recycling and proper waste management in the environment as others are passionate about bringing therapy through the arts to heal.

Fear invites itself in to get in the way when some are on the edge of their passion or divine purpose....overwhelmed by uncertainty they hold back. There is a great quote by Fritz Perls, "Fear is Excitement without the Breath". I read that and let out a big "TOTALLY"!!

Follow your dreams, Dance in your passion!

Love,Love,Love!

Erin

Let Your Heart Break Open..

Hi Beautiful Blessings...

Yes too long since I have written...and though I think of this blog and you often...I have been pretty reluctant to writing. Tonight in my meditation something sparked my heart and I knew it was time to resume the blog.

Speaking of hearts...I am currently reflecting on the expression "Let Your Heart Break Open"...

I sat at my alter tonight in tears of gratitude for all that is and has ever been. I got a brief slideshow of my past three years on this journey and all the times I have sat at my alter in various states of being. I have found myself in tears during meditation in the past three months, more then ever before. Frightened and fearful of this in the beginning, I have now come to accept that it is just my heart breaking open.

With every tear I allow my ego to dissolve and allow the flow of love and awareness to open me up. I do my best to surrender all of my fears and emotions in that moment and trust that spirit will infect me with the bliss. I don't quite understand all of the heartbreak that has occurred on a conscious level, but when I close my eyes and turn within...I am overcome with the most powerful feeling of complete understanding. It is a knowing in the heart, that everything leading up to this very moment has been in perfect Divine order.

Nothing could ever change how much I love you....unconditionally...forever and ever!