Loss Into Love

This post is dedicated to all of my friends who have lost a loved one....

What a day!! I woke up this morning with happiness in my heart and the willingness to allow the day to unfold as is. I don't think I had any idea how much of a shift was on the verge of occurring. Isn't it beautiful how a shift begins to activate and take place in ourselves long before we are aware of it....it's like watching a movie with no sound....it's happening but we are not fully aware of what is going on until we set the volume and fully tune in.

Today I went for hospice orientation, something I have anticipated doing for the last 6 months. I discovered that I had some more processing to do and that when it was time I would be nudged in that direction. I received the nudge and arrived at the orientation today with an open heart and mind.

I must confess, during the first 15 minutes, I was filled with tremendous anxiety and fear. My mind was racing and my ego began to share it's opinion of my service interest. At that point instead of completely surrendering to the anxious feeling and allowing the fear to overcome me, I made a choice. I made a choice to acknowledge those feelings & let them pass. I reflected on the teachings of my spiritual teachers, especially all of the beautiful insights Ram Dass has shared on death & dying. The reflection allowed me to be free of all fear and anxiety at that moment.

Something else happened at that moment, for the first time ever I was able to step out the story that "I lost a close friend to cancer" and step into the willingness of gratitude and service. I have a tremendous amount of gratitude for the opportunity I was given to know and experience life with Coop....so much gratitude it brings me goosebumps! Yet my journey can not end because of the loss, I now get to share and infect the world with unconditional love, kindness, and enthusiasm that Coop shared so freely with me.

Tonight when taking off the rubber lung cancer bracelet I received from Coop and have worn everyday, it broke. I felt a little bit of sadness, but the symbolism was beautiful and assured me that letting go does not erase the love and memories that will carry on forever.

To anyone who has recently lost someone, please feel the support and love I am sending as I assure you that you are not alone! There is absolutely no right or wrong way to grieve and please be assured that a candle of hope is lit for you everyday!

I could never thank you all enough for your support....I am so lucky to be on this journey with you!

In Love & Service,

Erin

Just Dance!

Kalispera, as they would say in Greek! I just watched a movie about Greece and have every intention to visit that beautiful & magnificent country someday soon!!

I know I have slacked off a bit in the blogging world, to think If I was striving to make this blog a hit.....I would have to post 3-4 times a day. I personally just blog when I feel inspired to share some spiritual gibberish when the moment sparks!

This week has been all about discovering patterns and negative thoughts I have attached myself to like gorilla glue. I hit a speed bump of grief early this week and it has been dragging behind me ever since. Grief is a very heartbreaking,uncomfortable, and a rather disturbing state of being....yet in this state one can can have the most beautiful spiritual awakenings. So, as uncomfortable as it is I will sit with my grief, offer it a cup of tea, and trust it will be packing up soon.

If you experience grief...happiness is bound to be lingering around somewhere right? As it says in the Tao Te Ching: Being and non-being create each other.Difficult and easy support each other.Long and short define each other.High and low depend on each other.Before and after follow each other. So breathe easy and know that with this grief will one day come joy,happiness, and the wholeness that seems so far away.


Something fun I wanted to share before wrapping this up...My friend Pam and I are in the process of helping organize a transformation movement weekend with Roger Sams. Sunday while brainstorming, I came across a poem Roger Sams wrote and shared at a past workshop. I don't have the poem to post right now, nor do I have Roger's permission yet- but look for it in a later post. The gist of the poem was all bout dancing in whatever life throws at you. One of the lines talks about even dancing in your own blood & I was so moved by that!

This past weekend I attended a fundraiser dance event and observed everyone dancing in state of bliss. The beautiful thing about dancing is it is almost impossible not to smile. When we dance we let off such a high vibrational frequency that only allows good to flow in that moment...no matter what the outside circumstances are! Tonight I was reminded in the Greek film how important it is to dance. The actor was talking about how in the Greek culture they dance no matter what- rain or shine!

I leave you with a quote from my favorite song-

" You can't dance and stay up tight, it's a supernatural delight. Everyone was dancing in the moonlight".

Loving you just because!!

Erin